What to Consider When Considering Happiness

This is kind of a rough subject. We all talk about self-acceptance but rarely practice it. Why? Because it’s hard.

Filtered Reality

We are often told we’re not enough, from the time we were kids – “You should do better in school, look at how your friend is doing.“ And this continues as we grow older, we scroll the social media and see the beautifully Photoshopped and filtered people, we look at the highlights of their lives. We are served with perfection in every aspect of our lives, making us believe we are failing because we’re not perfect. We see these unreal pictures of other people and their lives everywhere we look, we are presented with only the best filters, and we constantly feel smaller, we constantly think that we should be better, do better. Better appearances, better jobs, more money, we’re not smart enough, fit enough, we are simply not enough. This is a horrible and destructive point of view, to go through life being unsatisfied with who we are; this is one of the most important things to change in our existence. And yes, again, it is hard, and again, it can be done.

Accepting Isn’t Giving Up

First thing we need to do is to understand that accepting ourselves doesn’t mean we stop to evolve. No, we continue to grow, but we grow from positivity, not negativity, we are good enough, but we strive to be better because we can, because it makes us happy. We do not push ourselves because we have no value, but because we will enjoy having a higher value. We don’t need to be more of anything to be worthy; we are worthy as we are. We do not need to be anyone else; we are just fine being ourselves, and what we choose to do next with ourselves is not because we must, but because we want to, because it makes us happy and fulfilled.

Like when you look at a growing flower, it is beautiful at every stage of its growth, and that doesn’t mean it stops growing, no, it keeps getting better, not to improve its previous self, but simply to expand, to be more, because it can.

A lot of people confuse self-acceptance with giving up, as if saying “I accept myself” means you’ve stopped caring. But acceptance doesn’t mean you stop trying to grow – it means you stop rejecting who you are right now. You can still work toward goals, learn new things, and strive for change, but you do it because you care about yourself, not because you think you’re failing at life.

Seeing Yourself

It can be quite hard to see the realistic picture of yourself, but it is what we need to do, we need to be honest with ourselves. We usually see things bigger or smaller, rarely as they are, and this is something we need to work on. We need to see ourselves as whole persons, with all our strengths and struggles, and to understand that it’s ok to have both. Just as we are not only one thing, we are not that easily defined. We can be both kind but impatient, confident at work but insecure in relationships, good at one thing, not so much at another, and again, it is just fine.

One of the big obstacles in seeing ourselves as we are is comparing ourselves to others, because by comparing ourselves, we are focused on what we don’t have instead on what we do have and this creates a negative image of our worth, not a realistic one. Not only that, but we become convinced that someone else “has it all”, when in reality, everyone struggles with something.

When you stop comparing, you give yourself permission to define success on your own terms. Maybe for you, success isn’t about status or perfection—it’s about peace, balance, or being present with the people you love. Self-acceptance allows you to live your own version of “enough,” instead of chasing someone else’s idea of it.

This is Not a One-Time Decision

Even when you do come to this point of clarity and self-love, do not expect you’ll stay there forever. This is something that changes, and it is completely normal; there are better days and worse days, and our feelings usually change accordingly. Some days, you’ll feel proud and grounded. Other days, you might fall back into self-doubt or old habits of comparison. The important thing here is not to let it consume you but to always come back to your loving self.

Always focus on small things, small wins, do not brush them of, they are what progress is made of, in this case, progress to self-love. You can also try to talk to yourself the way you would to a friend. We never judge our friends harshly as we do ourselves. Learn to say, “I did my best today, and that’s enough.” Or “This is a great day to do nothing at all.” Allow yourself to rest without guilt.

It’s About Being At Peace With Yourself

Once again, it is important to remember that self-acceptance doesn’t mean you’ll never want to change – it just means you no longer believe that you must be “fixed” to be worthy. It’s realizing that your flaws, your mistakes, and your scars are all part of your story. They make you real.
The more you practice accepting yourself, the more peaceful and grounded your life becomes.

Self-acceptance isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about finally allowing yourself to be who you’ve been all along.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.

– Lucille Ball