What to Consider When Considering Happiness

Okay, so there is a lot to consider when it comes to happiness, but I think it would be best to take it easy and not overload. In the introduction, we mentioned how important it is to change our mindset (that is, if you’re not an optimist already, of course). I cannot stress enough how important it is to be positive; it is a starting point, we cannot make a positive change with negative thoughts consuming our minds.

That being said, changing how your mind works is not an easy thing. This is like changing a habit and we all know how hard that is, whether it’s a habit of sleeping too little, eating too much sweets, or being too negative. A habit is a habit, and it is a tricky thing to build (or break). But let’s do it anyway.

We’ll break those bad habits that keep us down by implementing new habits and the first one is changing our minds. Yes people, not only do we have the right to change our minds, but it is often desirable to do so. We grow up molded by TV and news, our teachers, parents, other children, later our colleagues, our bosses, and so on. Words make a great impact and we often say the wrong thing, even if we mean the best. Also, people spread negativity so easily, sometimes not even realizing it. We all do it. Why? Because it is so easy to be negative. Especially in this world we live in, where bad news is constantly poured into our minds. But the world is still a beautiful place, we just need to change our perspective to see it. So how do we do this?

First, we must be willing to do it, willing to put in the work. This largely depends on whether we believe that we can change and that itself is a mindset, because we usually believe that we are who we are.

I’ve recently read this article explaining two types of mindsets, fixed and growth, and fixed pretty much means you’re stuck when it comes to change. A fixed mind will think there is no room for progress, we are who we are, end of story, but a growth mind will believe in the possibility of changing who we are. Now, don’t get scared, nothing is set in stone, I am living proof a fixed mind can be turned into a growth mind. I won’t lie to you, it is one hell of a challenge, but it can be done. For me, it took a while to get there, and I still have my ups and downs from time to time, but I am doing it, every single day, I am doing it, the mere existence of this blog is proof I’m doing it. So don’t even try to tell me it cannot be done. It just takes somewhat longer for some of us, and even though we might be slow, we still get there. It’s really important to keep trying, we tend to give up when it takes too much time, but for me, a way to deal with this was not looking at how much more work I have to do, but how much I’ve already done. Seeing the footprints I left, seeing that I wasn’t where I started gave me a boost to move forward. Yes, I paused from time to time and that is ok too, sometimes we need to stop and recuperate. But then we keep going. We just need to believe that we can, even when it’s hard.

I remember when I was a kid, my dad would constantly repeat to me: “I can, and I will!” It used to drive me crazy, I felt like he was trying to brainwash me. 😀 I had to grow up to understand that he tried to implement this notion I can do anything I put my mind to. It would probably work better if he didn’t say it so much while explaining math to me. 🙂

It is not an easy thing to replace a negative thought with a positive one, but with practice, it can be done. You block the negativity and turn it into positivity. Super easy, ha? 😀 This is where positive affirmations come in handy. First time I’ve heard of positive affirmation I thought “WTF?” Yeah, I don’t think that anymore. You need to see and acknowledge all the good in you and the good that you do (oh, a little rhyming, why not 🙂 ). You need to pat yourself on the back before anyone else does, because your opinion is the one that matters the most, when you see the good in you, it keeps you moving forward and makes it possible to accomplish what you put your mind to.

And I can’t stress this enough – avoid negativity around you! So stop scrolling the awful news and instead take a look at something that makes you happy. If you need to use social media, then make it a positive look, watch the pretty pictures, animal videos, funny people, read about all the good things that are happening, there are so many good things. Do what makes you happy, play with your kids, your pets, and spend time with positive people in your life, people who encourage you. It is much easier to be positive when you’re happy and surrounded by happy people in a happy place. 🙂 And talking about happy places, spend as much time in nature as possible, we are a part of nature, but living in this concrete has made us forget it. Nature is so good for us and to us, it gives us life.

So let’s start by thinking about what was said, choose something easy to start with, small steps. Maybe find a positive thing or two you can implement in your life, or do more of, and a negative thing or two to remove from your routine or at least do less of.

Let’s not go crazy thinking – “ I’ll never be negative again!” Yes, you will. So will I. So will everyone. The point is to be less negative, more positive, way, way, way more positive. Things will always bring us down, it’s just the way it is, but we’ll work through them, shake them off, and move on with positivity. Bad things happen. Or sometimes you just get up feeling down. But you get up just the same and you immediately start working on feeling better. Ok, take a little time to feel bad if you need to, but let’s not overdo it. Let’s move on from that. Not letting it consume us, remember?

Now let’s just let this sink in for a while. Take your time, process. And before we move on to Part Two, we’ll explore some other subjects. With our minds open, of course. 🙂

I used to doubt my ability and what I was capable of, and then I changed my mindset. It made me a better person, a better advocate, and opened doors for me to help instigate real change.

– Dylan Alcott